Believed (My Misery Muse) Read online

  Believed

  My Misery Muse

  By

  Brei Betzold

  Believed

  A My Misery Muse Novell

  Copyright © 2014 by Brei Betzold

  Published January 15, 2014

  Publisher Brei Betzold

  This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  All rights reserved. This edition is copywritten by Brei Betzold and any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. January 2014.

  Edited by Tanya Keetch

  Cover Design by Okay Creations

  Books In Series

  My Misery Muse

  Faith (My Misery Muse 2)

  Tribal (My Misery Muse 2.5)

  Believed

  I see an angel up above

  Streaking the sky in her wake

  The stars shine bright trying to garner attention

  Though she barely blinks in their wake

  I watch her sail amongst the sea

  Not realizing how she affects me

  I believe in a world of fairies and lights

  Until she’s gone from my sight

  I believe in souls merging as one

  Until she breaks the surface of the sea

  I believe in a world of untold lies

  Until she says she loves me so

  I once believe in everything

  But that was before the mist

  I pull my angel close at night

  Promising to protect her from the world

  I hold her tight all night

  To wake in the morning alone

  I wait each night with my hands held tight

  Praying for my love to return

  I believe in a world of forevers

  Until she’s gone without a thought

  I believe in a world of laughs so bright

  Until her names a curse from my lips

  I believe in a world of dreams and myths

  Until I’m left in the cold

  I once believed in you and me

  But that was before you left

  I find her searching for life

  All I can do is watch her fall

  I find her milky flesh marred

  The fingerprints deep enough to scar

  I promised her once so much of me

  Only to fail to make it that far

  I once believed in the world of fairytales

  Until daylight shone through cracks

  I once believed the moon was made of cheese

  Until daylight melted away my naiveté

  I once believed in the love of two souls

  Until the day you left a cutout in my soul

  I once believed

  But no more

  Prologue

  Jules

  “Once upon a time…” I began taking a deep breath of sweet baby girl, “…in a land far, far away there lived a beautiful punk princess.” I stopped reading and looked over the last few lines again, giggling into the baby’s neck, once again taking in the scent of warm clean skin and baby powder. “Caitee, only your mommy would find you a princess story about a punk princess,” I whispered kissing her chubby cheek. “The spunky punk princess lived in a glamorous castle deep in the hills of perfection,” I continued reading as the little girl’s eyes fluttered and she popped her thumb into her mouth.

  As I read the most ludicrous princess story of all time, Caitee began to doze, her soft breaths became even, and eventually her chubby arms fell to her side. I set the book down beside the rocking chair and snuggled into the warmth the baby provided. I kissed her soft hair and lost myself in the moment, there were no worries like this, no watching behind me. There was only the peace of the moment, and I wanted to enjoy it for what it was. All too soon though the peace was interrupted as it always is when I heard the little girl’s door open, I glanced up expecting to see her mom or dad, instead there stood my savior. Only he didn’t realize he was my savior, and if he were to find out, I’m sure he wouldn’t see it the same as I did.

  “Yes?” I asked quietly.

  “Devi wanted me to check on you, she said she hadn’t seen you come down after putting Cait down for her nap.”

  I looked down at the sleeping angel and back at Sam. “I’ve been detained,” I said faking a grin. I missed smiling and laughing. I missed a time when I didn’t have to fake it. I missed a lot these days.

  He smiled at the sleeping girl. “So I see; do you need help getting her in bed?”

  “No I’ve got it,” I murmured tucking my arms around Cait and slowly standing trying not to move too quickly. I didn’t want to wake her up, and I didn’t want cause myself anymore pain.

  I leaned over the crib and gently laid her down, watching as Cait moved around a minute. I laid my hand on her belly, rubbing in soothing circles hoping that she didn’t wake up. When she relaxed and her hands once again fell limply into the mattress, I moved my hand away and stood up straight. Though when I did the pain in my stomach flared and I gasped quietly but I held back on the urge to touch my stomach or ribs.

  “You okay?”

  I nodded blinking my eyes so the tears wouldn’t fall, once I was sure they were under control, I turned and looked at Sam.

  “I’m fine,” I murmured and headed towards the door brushing past him.

  I heard his footsteps and knew he was following me downstairs.

  “So you missed all the excitement.”

  “Oh, what excitement?”

  “X, Cin, and Eli.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, kinda glad I missed that.”

  “What, you didn’t want to watch Eli punch X?”

  “Did he?” I asked though not surprised.

  “Yep, he did.”

  I shrugged. “No, I really don’t need to watch anyone get punched,” I told him resisting the urge to touch my stomach.

  “You don’t seem shocked by it happening though.”

  “I’m not.”

  He sighed and bit his bottom lip looking far away for a minute. “Me either,” he said quietly, “it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

  I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked at Sam. He was a handsome man; with his all-American looks gone bad, his disheveled blond hair, which I’m positive he didn’t actually try to get like all the rage right now. His bright blue eyes, and lush lips, and scruffy unshaven jaw, he was many women’s wet dream. The problem was, like the rest of the members of My Misery Muse he knew it.

  “Or they’ll go from bad to worse to catastrophic,” I told him, then turned to leave, it was time to head home. No, not home, I no longer had a home. It was time to go back to Sam’s, where I was staying until I could figure out what to do next.

  Sam

  I stood on the bottom stair and watched as Jules walked away. Her hips swaying from side to side, and her words reverberating in my head: “Or they’ll go from bad, to worse, to catastrophic.” I wasn’t sure if she was talking about X and Cin or something else entirely. I shook it off though; I didn’t have time to delve into Jules’ life. I’d leave that for someone else, like Devi. I had my own growing list of demands and I wasn’t going to add a wild goose chase to them.

  I shook off the feeling her words provoked in me and went in search of X. I needed to find out if his nose was broken or just bruised. It better not be fucking broken, we were leaving on tour in a month and the last thing I needed was X to be injured. The man was bad enough to be stuck on a tour bus with, but an injured X I wasn’t sure I’d be able
to handle.

  I found X sitting on a chair in the kitchen while Devi pressed an icepack to his nose.

  “Fuck Devi, do you have to do it so hard?” X whined.

  She took a step back and dropped the ice pack in his lap causing him to yelp. “Do it yourself,” she grouched.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  Devi looked at me and I could see a promise of death in her eyes. “Yes, everything is peachy – fucking – keen.”

  “So not broken?”

  “Not yet,” she growled giving X a look that caused him so shrink back.

  “Did you find Jules?” she asked still watching X.

  “I did, she was upstairs rocking Cait.”

  “Is Cait still fighting her nap?” she asked and a look of pain flashed across her face.

  “No she’s asleep; I think Jules was just holding her.”

  She nodded and I could see some of the tension drain from her shoulders. “Okay, so where is she?”

  “She was heading towards the front door, I think she was leaving.”

  A small crease formed between her eyes and she bit her bottom lip. “I wish she would have stayed,” she said quietly.

  “Is she okay?” I didn’t know why I was asking, only there was something off from the Jules I had gotten to know over the past two years.

  “She says she is, but I don’t know, something’s wrong and she’s not talking about it.”

  I reached over and squeezed Devi’s shoulder. “I’m sure she’s fine, if she wasn’t you’d know, right?”

  She bit her lip and the frown stayed, she nodded her head slowly and I could tell there was something else going on. Something that Devi wasn’t going to talk about.

  “Okay, I’m going to get him home,” I said pointing at X. “Then I’m going home, I have some work to do.”

  “You still staying at Drake’s?”

  “Yeah, until whoever Max is letting stay at my place finds their own place, or Drake kicks me out,” I said grinning at her.

  She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “Drive safe,” she told me then whispered, “Don’t kill him,” looking at X.

  “I haven’t yet,” I told her and grabbed X’s arm hauling him out of the chair, then shoved him towards the front door.

  “Tell Seth I’ll call him in the morning,” I called back.

  “Will do,” she said.

  “Oh and tell Drake I said congrats again.” I was trying to be happy for my best friend, really I was. It wasn’t my place to tell him I thought he married a woman who wasn’t good for him. It would either work out or it wouldn’t, that was for them to deal with.

  Chapter 1

  Jules

  “I’m fine, Max,” I repeated again, I stuck my cell phone between my shoulder and ear while I dug through my grocery bags trying to find the keys I dropped in there.

  “Jules, what are you doing? Why are you growling?” he asked.

  “Nothing, just trying to find my keys,” I said while still digging trying not to put a hole in one of the cheap grocery sacks. Why did I decide to drop my keys in there? Oh yeah, my hands were full.

  “Why didn’t you have them out and ready? Jesus,” he breathed, “you know it’s not safe, what if—”

  “Max, I am fine, I promise,” I said while grabbing my keys. “Aha!” I exclaimed then wiggled my wrist so the bags slid back. I shoved the key into the hole and twisted.

  “Max, you don’t have to worry about me. You have more important things to deal with right now.”

  “Jules, you know I worry.”

  I sighed. “I know you do, and I love you for it. You’re the very best friend a girl could ask for. How’s your dad today?”

  “He’s doing better, but Mom’s not handling it so well today.”

  “I’m sorry; let me know if you need anything.”

  “I will, sweets, just take care of yourself, okay?”

  “I will, I do.”

  “No you don’t, and I saw him today. He was standing outside the shop.”

  “I saw him too,” I muttered looking down at my wrist; I’d have to wear a pair of cuffs tomorrow to hide the bruises.

  “What aren’t you telling me, Jules?” he growled.

  “Nothing,” I said finally pushing the door open. I walked into Sam’s apartment and felt along the wall for the light switch. I flipped it and stopped to look around his apartment. The apartment Max had talked me into staying in while Sam was on tour. The apartment that Sam was aware was being occupied, just not by me.

  “Fuck, shit, god damn,” I breathed looking around.

  “Jules,” Max said but I barely heard him, I was too busy taking in the destruction of Sam’s gorgeous apartment. Tears slid down my face, I’d done this. I caused this. His things were thrown around, some broken. I’m sure even more missing. I caused this. I sunk to the floor wrapping my arms around my knees and took it all in.

  “Jules,” I heard Max yelling through the phone still held to my ear.

  “Max,” I whimpered.

  “Sweets, what’s wrong?

  “Max, help,” I whispered.

  “I’m already on my way. Is he there, Jules?”

  I shook my head then realized he couldn’t see me. “No, but he was, oh god Max, your brother’s apartment.”

  “I don’t give a shit about his apartment, Jules. I just want you safe. Can you go next door? Go knock on Sam’s neighbor’s door. She’s a nice woman; she’ll let you stay there until I can get to you.”

  “Okay,” I whispered pushing myself up the grocery bags still around my wrist and I shuffled back out the door.

  “Which neighbor, Max?”

  “The one across the hall, Jules. Her name is Marsha, and she’ll let you in.”

  I walked slowly across the hall and knocked, a moment later an elegant woman in her 30s opened the door. “Hello,” she said smiling.

  “I’m staying there,” I said pointing at Sam’s apartment. “Someone broke in, and Max said to come here until he got here.”

  Her face became serious and she opened her door wider and took a step back quickly ushering me inside.

  “Why don’t you go sit on the couch, have you called the police?”

  I shook my head still numb to what I had walked in on.

  “Okay, I will do that.”

  I nodded and stared out into space, I knew I shouldn’t have gotten Max involved in my mess. Now look at what I’d caused, I needed to leave. Go someplace where he wouldn’t be able to find me, where he couldn’t hurt anyone else.

  At some point Max showed up, I wasn’t sure how long it had taken him to get there. I was engrossed in my own thoughts.

  His arms wrapped around me and yanked me off the couch, swaying both of us back and forth. His hands cupped my face and wiped the tears I didn’t even realize were there.

  “It’ll be okay,” Max murmured and kissed my forehead.

  I buried my face in his shirt and shook my head. We both knew it wouldn’t be okay.

  “Marsha called the police, they’re already here and going through everything,” he said quietly. “They’re going to want to talk to you,” he said easing the grocery bags I hadn’t even noticed off my arm.

  “Okay.”

  “Sweets, look at me,” he said urging my head up.

  I looked into his eyes and mine filled with tears again. “Why won’t he just go away?”

  He hugged me tighter “I don’t know, sweets.” He sighed. “We need to call Cris and Devi.”

  “No, no!” I said roughly.

  “Sweets, you need to be protected, and as much as I want to, I can’t do it myself.”

  “No, Devi’s pregnant and Cris just moved Ash in today, no.”

  “I agree we won’t call Devi yet, but Cris, let me call Cris. You know he won’t care, he will want to know what’s going on.”

  “I don’t want anyone to know, Max,” I whispered.

  “Sweets, that is no longer an option, not after tonight.”


  “Let me think about it.”

  He held me tight for a few moments. “Okay, but hear this, you are not staying by yourself anymore.”

  I nodded my head against his chest and took a step back. “Where are the police? I want to get this over with.”

  He let his arms fall to his side and directed me out the door into the hallway where police were going in and out of Sam’s apartment. I followed him to a slightly overweight man in a cheap suit.

  “Jules, this is Detective Hunt,” Max said gesturing to the man.

  “Hello, Detective Hunt,” I said quietly.

  “Hi.” He reached out and I shook his hand, his eyes lingering on the patch of bruised skin. I let go of his hand and tugged my sleeve down so they covered my wrists again. Max reached down and grabbed my arm, stopping the movement and pulled my sleeve up so he could see the fingerprints that marred my white skin.

  “Jules,” he growled.

  The Detective cleared his throat. “Miss,” he said and looked at me expectantly.

  “Juliet Shoals,” I told him.

  “Miss Shoals, you were the one to find the place like this?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And you were at,” he looked down at his notebook, “Samuel Calhoun ’s home because…?”

  “I’ve been staying there.”

  “And he was aware of this? It’s my understanding that he’s out of town currently.”

  “Yes he’s out of town, he’s on tour,” I told him then looked at Max out of the corner of my eye, “and yes he knows someone is staying here.”

  He nodded. “Do you have any idea why someone would break into his apartment?” he asked glancing down at my once again covered arms.

  “My ex, I’m staying here because I left my ex.”

  “And did he do that to you?” he asked eyes flicking down again.

  I nodded.

  “His name?”

  I tugged on my sleeves once more. “Evan George.”

  “Do you know where we might find Mr. George?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Why would he break into Mr. Calhoun ’s apartment?”

  “Money,” I said quietly looking down at the floor.